Sunday, August 19, 2012

A Hidden Confession

It's amazing how some things can just hit you out of no where and how it becomes somewhat of a dream and something you hold dear. Over a year ago I was sitting in my room reading an article and then I had a thought pop in my head that has never seemed to stop appearing sense.

"You should become an inspirational writer"

Wow! I mean of course I have always dreamed of inspiring people, but doing it through writing seemed kind of strange to me. I liked writing in my journal and to myself, and never thought about writing for other people. Whenever I had to have someone read what I had written for a class I was always nervous and never felt like it was that good. I even shared with Jake this hidden dream of mine and while he is 100% supportive I am still nervous to have him hear my ideas. It's funny because most of my ideas pop in as we are laying in bed at night and I quickly grab my phone and write down a note and he always asks, "Another blog idea?"

This being said, it's been really hard for me to get started. I feel like the adversary gets in the way a lot and distracts me from this purpose. Lately, I have felt really distracted as my dream to become an inspirational writer has been more motivating to me. I have felt like life has been too busy and I have a million things to do, but no time to do it. One night I had a thought come to my mind.

"You are losing perspective"

I realized that I was pushing away the important things of my life because I was "too tired" or "too busy", but the main reason was that I have been "too selfish". While we are living for ourselves, we are also living for God and for other people. When it comes down to it, they should be our main focuses. A long time ago, a friend shared with me a story about how she was going to dedicate her life to others and not focus so much on herself. She helped me develop something I like to call the "No More Michelle Policy". When I am faced with a decision it becomes so much easier for me to make choices and to be happy when I realize that I am not just living life for myself. I have forgot about this policy from time to time and it has a direct effect on my mood and overall me!

When we lose sight on what really matters in our lives it is also harder to listen to the promptings of the spirit. I believe that our Heavenly Father gives us little jolts of remembrance to help us to refocus our lives on him and on his work. He is constantly reminding me of the covenants I have made with him and what I should be focusing on in my life, and it is so helpful when I feel like I am starting to lose sight. I love my Heavenly Father so much and I know that he will always be there for me throughout my life giving me the guidance I need to continue to live life to the very fullest!

2 comments:

  1. thank you for the reminder michelle ;) you are so wonderful and such an amazing example. do know that your life is inspirational, so putting it onto paper and writing about it will not be hard!! this alone was a perfect beginning to what can go on to change lives! YOU ARE SO COOL. and i'm so glad you are happy and married!!

    :)
    xoxoxox mady clawson

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    1. Oh Mady you are the cool one, and such an inspirational person, as said in my entry. Thank you so much for being a part of my life, and such an inspiration to me!

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