Friday, November 2, 2012

My Therapy - Bringing Meaning Back

Sometimes I feel like the title is the most important part of my blog. I always try to think of something that really explains my feelings and the things that I have been going through. Writing in my blog, or writing in general really is "My Therapy", and lately I feel like that is what I have been missing.

A lot has happened since the last time I posted. It's crazy how much life can change and how much things you learn - even if you learn them time and time again. A couple of months ago Jake and I celebrated our official one year of being together. We went to red robin and then went to see a movie. A month later we celebrated our 6th month anniversary, though that was when general conference was going on so we did not get to do much, but we still tried to make it special by decorating the car. ;-)

I am so grateful to have Jake in my life. It's amazing to have a person that is going to be there for me no matter what. I am so grateful that I have someone who can love me despite all of my weaknesses. Earlier tonight I had the thought of how my life would be if I had no one to share it with; if there was no one who loved me, and I got really scared. Love is one of the most important feelings in the world. It is the thing that keeps every single individual going, and when one feels that they lack love, it might be the end of them. It's so important to take time to realize that love is something that everyone needs. It does not matter what they might have done to you in the past or how scared you might be to actually love them, but just knowing that someone cares can make all of the difference to someone. I know I definitely struggle with this. . . and I want to do better. Love is in fact all about taking chances. Below is some of my favorite pictures from the photo shoot my sister Nicole did for me and Jake!

Another title I wanted to give my blog was "No Time". Now a days I feel like I have no time to do the things that I want to do, and even do the things that I need to do. A couple of weeks ago I was asked to work 5 days a week instead of four. I loved having my Monday's off so I could get caught up with everything that I needed to do. But business is crazy right now and they really wanted me to, so that has what I have been doing. It's crazy how much not having my Monday's has made me feel. I have felt more down, and I feel like the apartment is a constant pig sty. I end up spending my weekends getting caught up on the things that I was not able to get done throughout the week and not really taking a break. After a long day of work Jake told me something that really stuck, he said "I cannot remember the last time that you have REALLY enjoyed something." That is something that I have really been thinking about for the past few days, since I could not remember either. I had never really thought about how enjoying something takes some effort. For instance, something I enjoy is writing. There has been this voice inside my head that would tell me to take some time to write and I would end up spending my time on other things, things that were important, but not as meaningful. I want to bring meaning back into my life, I need to bring meaning back into my life in order to be happy and truly enjoy my life now. So the other part of my title is "Bringing Meaning Back".

The point that I want to make and express to people is to always bring meaning back into their lives. There are times where we just feel like our trials are over-bearable and we feel like giving up but I encourage everyone to bring the meaning back. Whether it is just taking five minutes for yourself, or praying to our Heavenly Father to gain perspective back, or simply doing something you enjoy. Make each day meaningful, and each day will be happier. There is a greater purpose, we should never feel stuck.