Sunday, December 29, 2013

Baby Marshall!

As most people guessed it, we are having a boy! Jake had the idea to post this video before we knew what it was, but it was only going to work if we were having a boy. When we walked out of the doctors office he mentioned that he could use this video - very excitedly I might add.

Let's roll back for a second though. We had our appointment scheduled for December 20th, just a few days before Christmas. We thought the day was never going to come, but each day would pass and I would get that much more excited. As soon as we were only days away, I started to get nervous. This ultrasound was not only to find out the gender, but was going to check if everything was growing correctly with the baby. I was nervous that something was going to be wrong - like the baby only having one arm or something. It almost seemed inevitable that something would be wrong - how could everything be perfect?

Our appointment was scheduled for 11:00am, and the whole morning I was super nervous. When I am nervous, I get sick to my stomach, and cannot eat anything. Driving over to the doctors office felt so weird! Was I really about to see my (hopefully) healthy baby?

Jake and I pulled up to the doctors office at the same time, and as soon as I saw him, my fears subsided. His presence always helps me to calm down. Soon enough, we were called in and the ultrasound immediately started. Seeing my baby move around, with all limbs intact, my nerves went away. I immediately fell in love with this baby boy and every little movement he made. The ultrasound technician said everything looked perfect. It still seems like a miracle! 

I am now starting to feel this baby boy move, he especially loves to nudge me in the bladder. Every time I feel him, I get happy knowing that he is happy and healthy. I am also starting to show - instead of just looking like I have a gut. I have finally purchased some maternity clothes, and I love having this little belly.

We have decided to name our boy, Marshall Howard Hansen. Marshall is one of Jake's ancestors, and Howard is my grandpa's name. We are so excited to officially meet him! We feel so blessed! 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Turning Closer to Christ this Christmas Season

Jake and I have never been very good at family home evening. Though we still try to do something each Monday night despite the lack of preparation. So late Monday night after getting groceries, we turned to and found this video.

I could not help what wonder what I could give to Christ this Christmas season, as all of these kids were saying what they were going to do. Jake and I decided that we would become better at praying for other people, and not just ourselves. We made a list of people we know that are struggling and that may have needs this Christmas season. Every night we are going to try to pray specifically for each of these individuals, and ask for guidance as to if there is anything that we can do for them.

I specifically am going to try to do better with my scripture study, and make the time to study each and every day, even if it is just for a few minutes.

So what will you give this to Christ this Christmas season? I hope we can all remember the true meaning behind this miraculous holiday.

18 1/2 Weeks!

Alright, so I figure most of you know, but for those who don't . . .

We are pregnant! Yes, it has taken me a while to make this announcement on my blog, but you have got to give me some credit, pregnancy is hard when it comes to motivation. I was really sick my first trimester, but I took it as a good sign considering I was not sick at all when I miscarried earlier this year. We decided to make the big announcement on Halloween as stick figures, if you were wondering what those pictures were. Now that I am well into the swing of my 2nd trimester, the motivation and energy is definitely coming back. I have even made dinner two nights in a row!

We are now 18 1/2 weeks along, and will find out the gender in a couple of weeks! Any guesses?

Sunday, July 28, 2013

As of lately. . .

I feel like it has been a while since I have updated things that are going on in our lives as of lately . . 

As of May. . . 

Jake's brother and his family moved to Nicaragua and Jake, his sister Kathryn, and his dad decided to take on his brother's small business, at least for the summer. It's called, The Juice Press. It's a small sandwich/smoothie shop located here in Lindon. Jake quit his job at Macys and started working there full time, sometimes more. There have been days where he has been there from 8 am to 9:30 pm. It is kind of stressful, but it does have it's benefits. 
1. Jake is home in the evenings! (most of the time). Since Jake has been home more, it's been fun trying to figure out things that we like to do together. While we are far from figured out, it's still been fun to see him more. :-)
2. He brings home smoothies and bread to me. 
3. It's much more flexible than Macy's was.

We have decided that sometime in the future Jake will join the Air Force. This has been something that has always been on his mind, but once Jake was done with school for the semester and had a little bit more time on his hands, he seriously looked into this decision and the different routs that he can take. It was a huge decision for me, because being in the Air Force is a completely different life style than the life style that I am currently living. We would be far away from family, not get to choose where we got stationed, and at the time I was pregnant and wondered how I could be far away from here raising a baby on my own. We went to the temple and prayed about this decision, and we both felt like it was the right thing to do. We are still trying to figure out the best route - but I think we are pretty set on Jake applying for scholarships until he finishes up with optometry school, and then joining the air force as an optometrist. Things may change because this is years ahead of us, but it is something that has been on our minds at least. 

As of June. . .

We finally joined the world of smart phones! For the first week or so we spent all of our time on our smart phones because they were so fun! We joined the provider, Ting. You can find them online. They are kind of like a pay as you go phone, and there are no contracts involved. They have certain tiers, and if you fall within that certain tier of text, data, or minutes, you pay that much money. We have only paid one bill so far, but it only ended up costing us about $40 for the month. If your contract is ending soon, I would highly recommend checking them out. Here's a link to their website.

We have been taking a lot of Idaho trips this summer. I went up with my sister's and mom in early June for my cousins bridal shower. It was the first time that Jake and I had been away from each other for over a day since we got married. (Spoiled I know!) I loved it and hated it all at the same time. I think it was good for us to be apart for a little while so I could remember what it's like to miss him. 

We also went up to Idaho Fall's later in June for Jake's cousins wedding. It's only the 2nd sealing that I have attended, but I loved attending and being reminded of the covenants that I made with Jake when we were sealed in the temple. 

As of July. . . 

I am no longer a receptionist! They have been needing more help and so they decided to hire someone else for that position and move me on to bigger and better things. I am learning more and more about the title industry and have become an Escrow Assistant. Sometimes I feel like I am looked down upon because I decided to quit school and start working full time, but in a way I find this as such a great learning opportunity. Maybe one day I will finish up school, but as for now I am happy learning in the business that I am in. 

I am officially legal. My 21st birthday was a lot of fun. Jake and I both took off work and went shopping, fed the ducks at a local pond, and just enjoyed our time together. My mom threw together a little party with tin foil dinners and fireworks. **Just as a caution for next time any one shoots off aerial fire works - make sure they are on a steady surface, or they might just tip over and start shooting at you.**

My mom's side had a family reunion up in Idaho about a week ago. It was a lot of fun to see family that I have not seen in a long time, and just enjoy each other's company. We had a lot of fun activities planned. We went to a fun "park" with water slides and a zip line and also climbed rocks and took hikes around a lake. My favorite part of the reunion was probably when we all sat down and had a program talking about my grandma and grandpa and the lives they have lived. It will be their 60th wedding anniversary come December and I am so grateful for them and the examples they are to me! 

As of forever. . . 

Jake is still the cutest person in the world. And I will always love him!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Little Angels

Story #1:
A girl is 30 weeks pregnant. She has started getting many things prepared for the baby's arrival and has loved bonding with the baby and feeling the baby move. Some complications led to a doctors appointment. The doctor sadly told her news that she lost her baby. She has to deliver her sweet stillborn baby, wondering why this has happened to her. 

Story #2:
A mother delivers her sweet healthy little girl. The little girl has a 4-year old brother who is very excited to welcome her into the family. The mother was very lucky to have this little girl, and could no longer have any more children because of complications. She did the little girls room up so nice and was very excited to bring the little girl home. 
A month and a half later - mother goes to check on her little girl in the morning. The little girl is not breathing, and has no pulse. The mother and the paramedics tried to revive her, but it was too late. The doctors say that it was Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Now the mother, father, and five year old boy have to burry their little girl, not knowing why this has happened to them. 


Story #3:
Little girl is about 18 months old. Mother and father notice something strange about her. She is starting to run into the walls and puts everything right up to her face to look at it. She is also starting to lose weight. They took her into the doctor's office and did not receive the best of news. This little girl has a tumor in her brain. After a few rounds of chemotherapy the doctors sat with the mother and father and said, "I am afraid there is nothing more that we can do. The cancer has now spread throughout her whole body". 
Devastated at the news, mother and father wondered why something like this could happen to their sweet 2 year old girl.  They were not sure how much time they had left with her, but they decided that they were going to make the most of what they had left. 

Story #4:
10 year old boy lying on a hospital bed. Tears rolling down his face as his parents walk into his room. The boy has been fighting cancer for the past few years, but the cancer keeps on getting stronger and coming back. He tells his parents that he is done fighting and that he is not scared of death. He wants to make the most of the time he has left. His parents were scared, but they knew that they needed to support their son in this decision. They knew that he knew his limits and was done fighting. 

Story #5:
Father is holding his wife as she just gave birth to his beautiful little girl. There were complications during the delivery, and his wife did not make it. The father knew that there were risks that this might happen, but he did not think that it would actually happen. He is now on his own, with five kids, including a newborn - still going to graduate school wishing he still had his wife by his side.


All of these stories are true stories. I have heard them all within the past couple months. I don't know if I am paying special attention to these stories since I had my miscarriage, or if I really have been hearing more of them. It's hard to have hope when I hear all of these stories of loss. It's often hard to see the Lords plan in these situations. Why would the Lord take away these precious children when they have not lived for very long?

I hear of situations like these and hope that these people have the knowledge that I have. These sweet little children won't be apart from their parents for very long. This life here on earth is only but a blink of eye compared to eternity - and we will see them again! Though, it's okay to mourn, and it's okay to feel sad. We will be apart from these little children during our earthly experience, and we will miss them. We wanted them to live a full life here on earth and experience the things that we are experiencing. We wanted so much for them that they did not have a chance to have. 

These children are little angels watching over us. God had a special purpose for them and that's why he called them back to him so quickly. The eternal perspective is all about God's purpose for us. Not what we thought we were set out to do, but what He has set out for us to do. When we follow his plan, everything will work out the way that it's supposed to. 

I feel so grateful to have this knowledge. I feel so grateful that I am sealed to my husband and my future children for time and all eternity. No matter what happens, we will be with each other forever. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

You are never alone

Now that the semester is over for Jake, he has been getting more hours at maceys. It reminds me of last summer when I worked the 8 to 5 shift and he worked the 2 to 10 shift. I miss him. I have been trying to move forward - but it's hard when you are sitting home alone, your pregnancy hormones are still trying to taper down, and you have nobody to hug. 

I had a follow up miscarriage appointment today. Every day since I have found out, things have become a little easier, but going back to the doctor today, my emotions were definitely triggered again.

I am one of those people who tries to put on a positive face, despite whatever feelings I am feeling. I have been wondering why it is I exactly do that. I often times feel embarrassed to cry, or show emotions. I guess I don't like a lot of attention drawn to myself, and want to feel like I can handle everything on my own. 

Truth is, I can't. Truth is, I am not supposed to. 

God is always there supporting and loving us every step of the way. Often times he is their through other people. We need to let those people in and show them that they are needed. We need to let God's love in. We cannot and should not go through life on our own - blessings are all around us if we just look. 

I know this is something that is hard for a lot of people to do, especially me. But I am so grateful that I have a husband who, may not understand me when I get into my emotional phases, but is there to comfort me. Being married is such a blessed thing, and I know it was created by God. 

So I guess what I am trying to say is that we have God, our significant other, and all of our other loved ones to help us through life challenges, and we should let them in. We never have to be alone. 

During times like this, I find this song very comforting. I hope you do too. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Patience, Faith, and The Lord's Way

Back in February something very unexpected happened to my little family. I cannot say the exact time that it hit us, or the exact way it hit us, but all of the sudden Jake and I knew that we needed to start trying to have children. We were very nervous and felt unprepared for this endeavor - but knew and prayed that it was the right thing to do. There were a lot of questions that were left unanswered as we took on this challenge - but again, like I said before, we knew that it was the right thing to do.

Only about a month later, Jake and I found out that we were expecting, and while we were way nervous because we did not expect it to happen so quickly, we were very excited and could not keep the news to ourselves for very long. I could not help but think that this was the Lord's plan and that this is what he wanted for us, and that was why we were blessed so quickly.

We went to the doctors office for our eight week appointment and everything seemed to be going well. I was quite nervous for the appointment because I did not know what to expect, all I wanted to hear was that the baby was healthy and that everything was going along the way that it was supposed to. When the doctor did the ultrasound he said that the baby was measuring only 6 weeks along, but we could see the small flicker of a heartbeat, so everything seemed okay. The doctor wanted to come see me again 2 weeks later when the baby would be measuring 8 weeks, just because things were still a little small.

Despite the fact that the baby was measuring small, we were thrilled to share the news with everyone. We had my sister Nicole take announcement pictures to post on Facebook and to email people the news. Despite my pregnancy symptoms, we were so happy and felt so blessed with the new little addition to our family.

Last Monday was my follow up appointment for when the baby should be measuring 8 weeks. I was not as nervous for this appointment, because I had already gone through it once and was sure that everything was going well. The doctor came in to do the follow up ultra-sound, and I could see some concern on his face when it started. At this doctor's office, there are about 8 doctors that switch off seeing you. So this doctor was different than the one that I had seen previously. He asked me if the previous doctor had found the heartbeat during the last appointment. I answered in approval, and then he continued zooming and moving the camera around in different angles trying to find the heartbeat. Suddenly, he turned off the monitor and sat down in his chair. "Unfortunately," he said, "I believe you may have miscarried."

I did not know how to respond. He told us that he would give us some time and then we would head over to his office to talk some more. I was still in shock with what he had said. I looked over at Jake and the sad expression he had on his face as well. We had about 10 minutes to ourselves before the doctor came back in. It was hard to not let the emotions get to me. I was sure that everything was okay. I knew that this was something that the Lord wanted us to do, so how could He let this happen to us?

The doctor came back in and told us that the baby was only measuring about 6 1/2 weeks now and that combined with not finding the heartbeat, he was 95% sure that I had miscarried. He also said that that may be the reason that the baby was measuring small at the first appointment. Even though the baby did have a heartbeat, it just was not growing quite correctly. I like to think that it was hanging on for as long as it could, but in the end it just was not growing correctly.

He had me go to the hospital and take a couple blood tests to measure my pregnancy hormone levels, just to confirm his diagnosis. I had to take one then and then take another one 48 hours afterwards. I did not have a lot of hope that the blood tests were going to prove him wrong, but there was still a small hope. Thursday he called me with the results of the blood tests, they had confirmed my miscarriage.

It's hard to think that if there was something that I could have done differently, that the baby would still be around. The facts are though that there is a 1 in 5 chance of this happening in any pregnancy and most of the times it is because things did not line up quite correctly in the growing process. This has been really hard for me wondering about future pregnancies. This was my first. I could not help but wonder if I will ever have a successful pregnancy. More and more doubts kept flourishing in my mind as the week has continued, but there is one thing I know for sure, the Lord has a plan for me.

I have been so blessed with the amazing love and support of my family members and loved ones, from flowers, dinner, little surprises on my doorstep, and words of sympathy and love. They have helped remind me that there is a plan for each of us. There is no doubt that I had not seen this coming in His plan for me, but I am learning patience and faith that things will work out the way that they are supposed to.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8-9

The Lord does have a plan for me. He has a plan for each of us. I am not sure when the soul comes into the body, but I can't help but think that I may have a little child already up there waiting for me. Their earthly experience was not as long as a lot of ours were, but this little spirit came down to obtain a body. While this body was not perfect - it still was obtained and used for a short period of time. I love this little spirit with all my heart and love the short time that I was able to spend with it. While I am saddened, I know that this was the way things were supposed to play out - and I will continue on with patience, faith, and hope in the Lord's way.

We love you little baby, thank you for the short time you were with us.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Own Little Universe Matters

Do you ever feel like you are so small compared to the entire world or even the entire universe? Despite how small we are, it's amazing how the life you live is your universe, it's your everything. We are all faced with different experiences, which make us who we are. Sometimes our little bubbles of a universe bump into someone else's, and experiences are shared. The whole universe suddenly becomes a venn diagram.

Everyone takes on their own shapes and you are just in the middle of it all - feeling small compared to the whole universe.

So why am I going here and using desperate art attempts to try to get a message across? Lately I have been feeling desperate for some sort of peace and assurance that I matter. There are so many things that come and overwhelm me and I sometimes can't help but wonder, is the life that I am living worth anything compared to the whole scheme of things? Maybe it's just the hormones talking - but it is something that has been on my mind.

I had an amazing experience today as I prayed to find this assurance. I dumped and loaded everything out on my Heavenly Father. As I was finishing my prayer I felt a very specific feeling. The Lord had put down everything for a few minutes to listen to what I had to say. I felt his personal love for me and knew that he was listening. He reminded me that I did matter.

Prayer has been somewhat of a struggle for me once I started working full time. I have really missed the couple minutes of complete peace and communication with my Heavenly Father. A few days ago, I was talking with Jake about this struggle, and we both knew that one of the reasons I have felt overwhelmed is because I have not been taking the time to communicate with my Heavenly Father.

The Lord will help fill the emptiness inside of you and let you know that you do matter - who ever you may be! Just remember to let him in!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

One Blissful Year

A couple weeks ago, Jake and I celebrated our one year anniversary. We went up to Salt Lake for a couple nights, and we splurged on a nice hotel room. It was so wonderful to get away and have a weekend just with each other. We probably have not had a weekend like that since our honeymoon - and it was wonderful to spend some alone time with each other.

We decided to decorate our car because - yes we still had our Just Married stickers on the back. It was fun to cross of the just and write 1 YEAR! (Everyone who has bugged us about these stickers should be happy to hear that they are finally off, though we still feel like we are just married.)

It took us a week after our anniversary - but we finally dug into our cake top.

What have I learned from this year? Marriage is hard work and is not always blissful. There have been many things that we have had to work on to make our marriage stronger - and we are far from perfect. The important thing is that we keep trying and make sure the Lord is part of our marriage triangle. Looking back at the experiences Jake and I have had, the times that we felt the closest to one another, was when we kept the Lord close.

When we kneel down at our bedside - hand in hand - praying to our Heavenly Father.
When we hold a Family Home Evening. 
When we read scriptures together. 
When we bear our testimonies to one another.
When we follow the guidance of the Holy Ghost, even when the guidance that we receive almost seems impossible. 

When we love the way Jesus loves. 
It's often hard - after a busy day of school and work - for Jake and I to make time for each other. We both get tired, don't want to make dinner, and just want to watch our current show. When we put each other first before ourselves, our love grows stronger, and we grow closer and feel happier with each other. This is one of our main goals, despite our imperfections, we know that when we are continual working on our love, we will have a continually blissful marriage.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

So incredibly grateful...

I am so grateful that I have someone...

...who is very attractive.

...who makes me giggle.

...who takes care of me - in sickness or in health.

...who is a great kisser.

...who holds the priesthood.

...who works so hard to ensure that we will have an amazing future.
(Taking a little nap in between studying... haha)

...who works at a grocery store and buys me chocolate (and other essential groceries of course!)

...who was, and still is worthy to take me to the temple. come home to.

...who forgives me of my mistakes. (I had a whole bag of popcorn for dinner tonight... sorry honey!)

... who is my best friend.

... who supports me with whatever I want/need to do. (He helped me deliver invitations for a Relief Society activity, it was awesome!)

...who I can trust with my life.

...who will ALWAYS love me no matter what.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Tuning Out the World

Do you ever feel so overwhelmed with all of the demands of the world that it becomes hard to remember the truly simple and important things? I was just sitting here in the middle of watching a show, when I decided to turn it off and play some music. I just sat there and all that I could do was listen to the keys of the piano as they moved up and down. Please close your eyes or continue reading on as you play this video below. The song is called Rocket to the Moon by Jim Brickman. Just let your mind take you wherever it needs to go.

I don't know a lot about this song. It just happened to play on my pandora playlist and it caught my attention, but I love the message - "A Rocket to the Moon". While others may have their interpretations of this song - I imagine  the simple message of escape.

Someone that feels so bogged down on the things that are going on in their life takes an escape on a rocket to the moon. From the moon they can see the world in a perfect view. They think about how little the world is compared to the whole universe. They think about how there is so much more to this life than the everyday tasks that consumes them. They know that they cannot stay on the moon forever, so when they come back down, they are prepared to look at life a little differently, a little simpler. They are ready to take on their challenges again.

A couple days ago I went to the temple to support one of my friends who was going through for the first time. I took the afternoon off of work and the whole experience was truly amazing. The temple truly is an out of world experience and everything there is put into an eternal perspective. Everything ended so quickly though, because soon enough it was the next day and I had to go to work again. I had to deal with this things of the world. I came home from my lunch break feeling so crummy, feeling like I needed another escape - another LONG escape. Coming home today I felt the same way. Sometimes my work can be very demanding and I am a girl who does not do well in demanding environments. I know I won't be working at this job for the rest of my life, but sometimes it's hard to see the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I just want to give up.

Your perspective about life can change even in the little moments of discouragement if you remember to take time to tune out the things of the world. Remember that you are not going to always be doing what you are wanting to do with your life, and thats okay. Tuning out the world can be something so simple as turning on music while you close your eyes. It can also be reading a book or doing a hobby you enjoy. Whatever it is that helps you to tune out, I encourage you to take those tuning out moments everyday so that when you are in the moment of being demanded by the world, you will be able to have that perspective that everything is going to be okay.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Holding on to the Good

Lately I have been looking back on the things I did and decisions that I have made in the past. I look back and see all of the silly things I did and then weird things that I thought were important at that time in my life. There is one instance in particular that I want to share with you - because looking back I know things could have played out very differently. I look back at this instance and realize how dumb I was to make that decision that I made.

I started out my senior year of high school very nervous about what was going to happen. My boyfriend at that time had graduated the year before and so I felt like I was starting out new and fresh. A couple of weeks into the year I was sitting in my Business Communications class and a girl walked in who was transferring into the class. I had never seen her before and wondered if she was new to the school. The teacher told her to pick a seat wherever she would like, and she sat down right by me. We started talking and she thought that I was new to the school as well. Come to find out we were both seniors and had been to the school all three years - we just had never saw each other. From day one I saw potential in her. I felt like we would become close friends. 

It took us a while to actually start hanging out outside of our Business Communications class. I felt so comfortable talking with her from day one, and I always looked forward to hanging out with her in that class, because most of the time we did not have enough work to do to keep us occupied for the whole class period. She was starting to become my best friend. She was the person that I would tell everything to. 

The summer after we graduated, we spent a lot of time together. We were becoming closer and closer, and we made memories that we thought would never end. As soon as the summer got over, things slowly started to become different. We were busy with our various responsibilities. I was working part time and started to become close to one of the boys in my singles ward. She was going to hair school, and being a star roll in a Halloween play. We were not talking as much as we used to, and we started to become a little unconnected. Soon the time came that I would head up to BYU-Idaho for my first semester of college. She came to visit me the weekend before I left and gave me a little playlist to listen to. Our visit was not very long and was kind of awkward because of how long it had been since we had seen each other. 

** I have to put in a note here that this girl is an amazing person! Despite all of the challenges that we were currently having in our friendship, she still wanted to stop by and say that she cared and would miss me. She is a girl that is so friendly to everyone that she comes in contact with. She always has such a positive outlook on life and is always wanting to put the past behind her and look forward with hope to the future. 

As I was up in Idaho we would have our close moments and talk on the phone for a while, but it was never how it used to be. When I came back come summer time, something weird happened. I invited this girl over to my house and told her that I did not want to be "close" friends anymore. I call this a weird thing because I don't really remember why I did this and what pushed me to do this. I think I was worried that she would still want to be as close as we were before. I had almost felt like I had moved on and was too "cool" to be friends with her anymore. Dumb right? 

Looking back at this I find the whole situation really immature, and I feel so bad for this poor girl who had to put up with me. Later we had a few long emails back and forth about the whole situation and decided to put everything behind us - though we never really put the whole thing behind us and never became close friends again. 

Months and months past and I started to get really persistent promptings that I needed to do something about this. I would look at this girl and the wonderful things that she was doing, and feel so bad for the way that I had treated her. After months and months of promptings and a night of no sleep, I realized that making up was something that we needed to do. I love to say now that that has officially happened and I am so grateful and proud of this amazing girl in my life, who loves me despite all of the trials that I put her through.

Picture an individual who puts a rock into their backpack every time they make a mistake. Then they put two more rocks in when they put themselves down for that mistake. The rock amount just keeps multiplying every time they reflect on that mistake until that individual cannot move any more.

Now picture an individual who picks up the rock when they make a mistake, and then puts it back down. This individual is deciding to acknowledge the mistake that they are making by picking up the rock, but they are not holding on to it. They keep moving forward without the pain of that mistake still on their backs. 

Now imagine these individual's filling up their backpacks with good things like water, a flash light, and a compass. Because the first individual has filled their backpack with the negative things, they cannot pack the necessary things to make their life's journey. The second individual has plenty of room and decides to take the good things and cherish them. 

It is important to remember that we need to fill our lives with good. When something or someone good comes into our lives we need to always hold on to them and cherish them. When we make a mistake with that good thing, we can acknowledge the mistake, but still move forward, instead of letting that mistake get in the way of the good things that we once had. We need to take those good things on our journey with us and never let them go. 

I am so grateful for this wonderful friend in my life who has helped me to realize that I can hold on to the good and let go of the bad. I am so grateful for her forgiveness to me and her example to me. She does not let her past get in the way of her future. And her future is very bright! I love you Aubrie! 

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Picking it up

My wife told me I was welcome to make guest posts on her blog, and so, a few months later, here is my first blog post ever.

I just got out of class for the day today and I was feeling pretty down on myself.  The last class I left, biotechnology, seemed to be more than I can or want to handle.

I know how he feels
I've always felt pretty confident in the sciences, but this class seems to have gone a bit over my head. Or has it?  I'll come back to this.
Although I am a biotech major, the biotech industry does not particularly interest me, at least as far as laboratory work is concerned.  This may seem silly to have chosen a major that I am not overly interested in, but I did so because it aligned most closely to the prerequisites of most optometry schools where I would like to end up someday.

The rest of the students in the class seem like this
If you have never felt like this kid, I envy you.  There are times when I just want to say, "Enough of this school stuff.  I'm just going to work at Macey's forever," however ridiculous that may sound.  When I walked out of class today, I was wondering why I felt so pessimistic about the class and my chosen major.  Granted, school isn't meant to be a breeze, but I was becoming more frustrated than I felt necessary.  I then had a bit of a lightbulb moment.  The thought came to me that I am not doing as well in other things that I should be doing, like studying the scriptures regularly.  I guess I had justified it a little by saying, "Well, I go to institute.  That's good right?"  Yes and no.
Institute is a great place to be, but it will cannot replace one on one studying by yourself, especially if you are like me and tend to stay below the radar when it comes to class participation and in a non-Book of Mormon class.  The other classes are great, but the study of the scriptures should always be supplemented by the Book of Mormon.  This is what I have been lacking.
It is way to easy to fall into a trap of watching one more episode, one more game, one more something that will keep us from doing the things we need to do.  So, I have come to the conclusion that if I need more confidence in what I am doing, the Lord needs to be able to have more confidence in us that we will remember Him even during our busiest of times.  And then, we can be happier.  And that's what we all want.