Friday, January 11, 2013

Combating the "New Years Depression"

It is crazy to think that last year has come and gone already. Last year was the first of a lot of things for me. I started out the year being engaged, then later married, and then later "more" married. It went by so quick that we still have the "Just Married" sticker on our car. It was the first time I really had to start thinking less about myself and more about someone else and their needs. I am now sharing my life and everything in it with someone else and not just by myself anymore. Marriage is a big adjustment to the life that I use to have, but it is also a big blessing! I feel so lucky and so blessed to have Jake in my life!

There were so many things that I had to work on balancing in my life last year, and to be honest, I do not feel like I did a very good job of it. About a week ago, Jake and I sat down and made some new years resolutions, but man have I failed already! I already had an expectation that not everything was going to be perfect, but there still is not a good feeling that comes when you do not live up to the expectations you set for yourself. Now this feeling that I have has a domino effect on my attitude and the way I act around other people. New years is supposed to be a time of freshness and renewal, but I think for a lot of people it can become a time of self-doubt. I have been been sitting here thinking about the solution to this "New Years Depression", and I am not sure I even know the specific answer.

A couple days ago I went to a Relief Society activity and we had someone come and talk about increasing our spiritual health. It was a reminder to me that we need to remember that the Lord is there and waiting to help us, but we first need to ask for help and then do our part, while continually praying along the way. I don't think there is one specific answer for anyone when it comes to combating the "New Years Depression", but I do know that if we turn to the Lord for help and guidance, he will be there to help us.

Even though a "New Years Depression" is almost always expected, that does not mean that you should not make resolutions.
If you have not made them, start them.
If you have already failed like me, keep trying!
And if you have done great so far, keep going, (and share with me your secret!).

If you are comfortable, share with someone else your resolutions, even if it is just the Lord, because you do not have to overcome or accomplish anything alone. Below are some of the more meaningful resolutions that I have made for myself.
1 - Increase my spiritual health and overall relationship with the Lord.
2 - Continue to cultivate relationships with family and friends, renew those relationships that may have been lost for a time, and try to cultivate new relationships.
3 - Be more loving and supportive of my amazing husband.
4 - Write, read, and ponder more.
5 - Be happy!  

With the Lord and others to support you, you can make this year one of the best years ever! Don't give up on who you want to become. I won't, if you won't.

Happy New Year!

4 comments:

  1. Hi Shelly. I love when you post! I hope you had a merry Christmas!
    When I read your goals, i felt a little overwhelmed.
    My one goal was to spend time in the scriptures every day. That was also my family goal. This year instead of making a book of Mormon chart, i made a calendar chart so we could just make sure we were reading every day since a whole chapter can be a lot for my 3 kids. It has been working for us. We have missed two days, but I used that to talk to my children about repentance.
    Anyway, I was wondering if maybe rewording your goals would help you find more success. Like..a specific thing to Do to strengthen your relationship with the Savior (go to the temple x frequency, read x amount every night)
    2. Call someone every week just to catch up.
    3. Do one extra nice thing for spouse every week.
    4. X amount/ frequency
    5. Write a quick list of things that made you happy each day. Something along those lines.
    Okay, I have been inspired. Now to add another thing or two to my list.
    Last tip, make goals that you can succeed with. It is depressing to fail. Baby steps! :-)
    Love you!

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    1. Yes, and thank you for the tips!! When Jake and I were making some of our goals for this year I felt a little "overwhelmed" because of all of the things that I wanted to do. I have been meaning to sit and write down specific ideas on how I can accomplish each one, but I may just have to tackle them one at a time, and do, as you said, baby steps.

      Love you too!! And thank you!!

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  2. Alex and I have talked a lot about New Year's resolutions, and how we do not like the word resolution. we don't like the word resolution because once we fail, we are as people tend to give up because we didn't make a resolution. We like goals better, because you can always keep trying with your goals. It's basically the same thing and you're exactly right, we just need to keep trying, and know that the Lord will help us. goals are important because it helps us organize our progress and be able to feel accomplished. I like to make my big goes around General Conference time, so twice a year. but you can make goals really any time. and if it first you don't succeed your goals you can just keep trying, that's what's important! Love ya Shelly!

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    1. Yes for sure!! And I love the way you put that because "resolution" is a hard word because it means a complete change, which is hard to do at first - it takes time. Thank you for your input!!'

      Sure do love you!

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