The past few days have definitely been "the worst of times". Everything is starting to become more real, especially now that I am feeling little Marshall regularly. There are so many things that we need to do before his arrival, and the stress/anxiety of it all is really bringing me low. Money is my biggest concern - can I really afford to have a baby? There are medical and insurance costs, baby accessory costs, continued baby care costs, and did I forget to mention that I am quitting my job?
Looking at all of the costs involved, it may seem kind of weird that I would be quitting my job. My church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, encourages mothers to stay at home with their children if circumstances allow. Obviously, that is not the case for all families because each situation is different. I give such high respect for mothers who do work, my mother included. If all goes according to plan, I will be helping one of my sisters with a day care come August. I will be making a significant decrease in money, but at least I will get to be with baby Marshall.
I cannot help but look back and see that the Lord does have a plan for me. He guided Jake and I to the decision to have Marshall, and I know that He has a future plan for us as well. He knows and trusts that we can take on this additional responsibility. He knows that it is going to be hard for us because of our decrease income. The question is, do we know and have faith to trust him?
Everyone has their trials, and trials much harder than the trials that I am going through. I find comfort in knowing that the Lord will always be there for me when I follow his plan and will for me - despite how hard it may be.